1. <b> Mom:</b> what did you learn today<p><b>Me:</b> deSTROY THE TEST<p><b>Me:</b> bedazzle my enemies<p><b>Me:</b> ask about the history of calligraphy<p><b>Me:</b> dont yell at your kids because dolphins dont need leashes<p><b>Me:</b> woof<p>
  1. me: *starts sobbing violently*
  2. sat proctor: why are you crying?
  3. me: i will never be able to see the grand canyon like Lopez de Cardenas
  4. sat proctor:
  5. sat proctor:
  6. sat proctor:
  7. sat proctor: im going to destroy your test

mrchrismad:

beaumarbre:

random-homestuck-things:

bishounen-jake-english:

jackadiddlediddle:

bishounen-jake-english:

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW

THIS IS A TRUMPET

image

THIS IS A TROMBONE

image

THIS IS A TUBA

image

AND THIS IS A FRENCH HORN

image

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

You mean trumpet

image

Slidey Trumpet

image

Big ass trumpet

image

Drunk Trumpet

image

I’M GONNA PUNCH YOU

My sides

AT LEAST YOUR INSTRUMENTS LOOK DIFFERENT 

image

those are some fancy guitars

(Source: spoopy-dawson)

disneylandguru:

Disney has a long fascination with pirates, one of whom dates back to 1953. In the spectacular animated film “Peter Pan,” Captain Hook is the villain who fears the crocodile that forced him into his namesake.

During Mickey’s Halloween Party at Disney’s California Adventure Hook was being chased down by Croc…on land! It was one of the funniest things  Everyone was into it, especially Hook who kept begging for his life.

iamboredletsshootthewall:

zukowantshonorforchristmas:

rawrsamsadino:

John Green everyone

#wow cutie patootie

I have never before heard my favourite author referred to as a cutie patootie. 

But I don’t disagree. 

I mean he is kind of adorable

I’ve never not reblogged John Green.

(Source: ofdanhowell)

nataliesama:

bagmilk:

karkatstuck:

tangarang:

fullmetalbukkake:

lafix:

A very bizarre bird was photographed in Venezuela recently. Meet the Potoo, which is rarely seen in daylight. - Imgur

NOPE

what the fuck is that

that looks like a god damn nightmare

and this is sound it makes

MOOOOOM

are you fucking kidding me it sounds like a 18 year old boy complaining to his mother because she cut off the wifi

whitebeyonce:

the scary thing about dating is that you are either going to marry that person or break up

(Source: anus)

dremoranightmares:

dontbeanassbutt:

shingeki-no-freeojin:

iamavithejester:

professorfangirl:

feministsupernatural:

stephgonzal:

sparklingganymede:

abaldwin360:

What would Jesus not do?

Things Jesus would do:

  • Flip tables
  • Turn water into fine wine to save your wedding party
  • Tell the weather outside to STOP
  • Curse trees for producing shitty fruit
  • Bring people back from the dead
  • Go fishing
  • Give you food
  • Whatever the hell he wants to on the Sabbath
  • Make furniture
  • Walk across the ocean because you need to stop

This…is the best

As Stalkingstalkerthatstalks said: Canon Jesus is better than fanon Jesus.

Canon Jesus is better than fanon Jesus.

CAN I GET THAT ON A TSHIRT

Fanon Jesus is a white guy who hugs lambs 

Canon Jesus is a sassy middle eastern guy who hung out with prostitudes and spread peace and acceptance of everyone

who also hugged lambs

I’m gonna

I’m gonna make the shirt

Because I want to wear the shirt

communistbakery:

communistbakery:

suits are so great… they’re intuxicating

image

I thought it was… suitable

(Source: sonicdreams)

Fairytales aren’t always what they seem.

(Source: inhislight)

trugazi:

can’t wait to own dogs with u

(Source: majabosnic)







s